How can I find myself a special friend?

Answer: Try these ten suggestions, which I’ve written in the first person to make you feel you wrote them!

I must:

1. Check my attitude. What message am I sending to people? This message, from The Making of Love by Steve and Shaaron Biddulph,  is a good message to radiate:

‘I am me. I like myself. I like giving love, and I like receiving it. If you  think you’re good enough, apply within’ .

2. Put myself out there among the possibilities. I won’t meet wonderful friends walking between the TV and the fridge every night.  I need to get out to where people are. Say yes to all invites!

3. Believe it will happen – one day. Every day wake up with the thought that “today could be the day”.  Smile at everyone; greet them heartily; be friendly.   People meet wonderful friends in the strangest places.  I could meet them on the train, in the checkout line, at an exercise class – anywhere!

4.  Spend lots of time doing things I love – preferably outside the house! What are my interests? I need to pursue those interests enthusiastically and see who turns up. I could join a running club, do a course, attend a meditation retreat, etc.

5. Recognise “deal-breakers” early on and exit fast.  High integrity is important to me; lack of it will be a early deal-breaker for me. It will be heaps more fun spending time with someone who behaves decently than with a superficial charmer who breaks promises, tells lies, and cheats.

6. Make room in my life for a wonderful friend. Am I too busy to spend time to get to know someone well? Am I prepared to make time?

7. Have an open mind about who my wonderful friend might be. Wonderful friends can be anyone–old or young,, male or female, gay or straight,  just like me or from an entirely different background. I mustn’t set out with restricting preconceived ideas.

8. Clean up my act. What flaws do I have that might put off my prospective wonderful friend?  Can I get rid of these – or tone them  down? If I don’t know what my irritating faults are, who can I ask for an honest opinion?

9. Be fun to be with. People like fun, happy positive people. I need to lighten up, smile a lot, laugh at myself when I stuff up, and be up-beat about things. A happy, smiling, fun me is heaps more attractive than a whinging, negative, sad-sack me!

10. Spend as much time as I can being the “real me”. The real me is relaxed, poised and confident.   The real me isn’t awkward and defensive and inhibited. I need to practise being the real me as often as possible. This way, when a special person  comes along,  I’m more able to display the real me rather than that creepy, gawky inhibited imposter who appears when I get self-conscious!