Two old ladies and the flower show

 

 

 

Flower show – one for the oldies!

 

 
Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.The older one leaned over and said, ”Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $10.00 I’d take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, boring flower show!”

”You’re on!” said the other old lady, holding up a $10.00 note.

The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.

Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling.

Finally, the smiling and naked old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd.

”What happened?” asked her waiting friend.

”I won $1000 as 1st prize for ‘Best Dried Arrangement’.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

Nicely set-out jokes: The Italian Tomato Garden

Italian Tomato Garden

tomato garden

 

An old Italian lived alone in  New Jersey .  He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent, 

I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year.  I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.  I know if you were here my troubles would be over.  I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. 

Love, 
Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop, 
Don’t dig up that garden.  That’s where the bodies are buried. 

Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop, 

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.  That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.   
  
Love you, 
Vinnie