How contrived and weird: collecting magic phrases and rote-learning them to trot out in social occasions!
But is it weird or is it smart?
Sometimes we do come across an elegantly simple and effective way of saying something that’s heaps better than anything we’ve come up with. So why not collect these magic phrases, memorise them, practise them over and over until they sound natural — and then trot them out when the right occasions present themselves?
Such a small investment for a possible big reward!
Here is my list of magic phrases I’ve collected so far.
Do you have any favourite magic phrases that work well for you? Please write in and tell us – the more magic phrases, the better!
1. Giving a warm response to someone introducing himself/herself:
Other person: Hello! I’m Jeff.
You: “Hello Jeff. How are you? I’m Anne. It’s nice to meet you.”
(from Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray,Love)
2. Taking the initiative after meeting a stranger you’ve really “clicked” with and where you realise your paths are unlikely to cross again unless you do something right now:
“Sally, I’ve really enjoyed talking with you. I’d love to get to know you better. Would you like to meet up for coffee some time?”
or this less intense version:
“Sally, I’ve really enjoyed talking to you. I’d love to chat with you some more. Would you like to meet up for coffee some time?”
(This one’s scary! But think what you gain if it works — maybe a wonderful new friend! )
3. Appealing to someone with ” the power” for their help and empathy:
“What would you do now if you were in my position?”
4. Dale Carnegie’s ultimate magic phrase:
“Wouldn’t you like to have a magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will, and make the other person listen attentively? Yes? All right. Here it is: “I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.””
5. When you’ve realized you’ve been talking a lot about yourself, not giving the other person the chance to tell you about them
When it’s someone you already know:
“But enough about me. Now it’s your turn. Tell me what’s been happening with you lately.”
When it’s someone you’ve just met:
“But enough about me. Now it’s your turn. Tell me you (and your research interests or line of work or whatever.)”
6. When you’ve heard enough and are sure the proposal you’ve just heard is good and the person proposing it is trustworthy:
Extend you right hand and say: “Let’s do it!”To see the handshake+statement “Let’s do it!” demonstrated in real-life, click on Prologue: Starting with a Handshake (you need to scroll down a page or so). It comes from Muhammad Yunus’s book Creating a World Without Poverty .
7. When you are in disagreement with someone about what to do:
“I can see that we’re approaching this situation differently. Why don’t we agree to communicate until we can find a solution we both feel good about. Would you be willing to do that?”
Most people would be willing to say ‘yes’ to that. Then you say,
“Let me listen to you first.”
(from Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, p 297).
