Answer: Encourage them to do volunteer work in areas they enjoy.

Volunteering has two benefits:

1. It attracts nice people for your child to become potential friends with.

2. It lifts their sense of self-worth. They will see themselves as kind, good people who care about others. This boost in self-worth will make them more attractive to other kids who also have a high self-worth.

There is strong evidence for the scientific benefits from volunteering –I’ll find it and write it up later.

How can I get my child to do volunteer work?

Volunteering is a lovely idea in principle, but how to get the kids to agree?

Here is some advice from Timothy Wilson, in his book Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change:

Although there are no magical solutions here, there are things parents can do. One is to steer children toward their interests. If they love sports. help them find volunteer opportunities in that area. such as becoming a referee or assistant coach in a league for disadvantaged children. If they love music, they can organize a group to play at  nursing homes or day care centers. Another approach is for parents to do volunteer work with their children. We sometimes forget how much we are role models for our kids; they are keen observers, and often learn more from what we do than from what we say. . .A side benefit [of volunteering] is that they will make friends with peers who are also involved in the community, rather than with people like Johnny, the leader  of the motorcycle gang ( or his modern equivalent). (p 132)