How can I get myself to try new, desirable behaviors?

Answer: Try the “Just do it one time” game.


To play:

1. Draw up a list of 10 desirable behaviors you rarely do and that you could do multiple times a day.

2. Look for a chance to do each of these behaviors at least once before you go to bed.

3. Tick off each behavior as you do it.

4. Repeat this exercise each day for a week.

Hopefully, by the end of the week these rare behaviors will feel more familiar for you.

Some examples of possible desirable but rare behaviors:

1. Run up the stairs instead of walking.

2. Wait 3 seconds before replying to someone to make sure the other person has finished talking and to think more about what to say.

3. Be “fully present” for the first 3 minutes of a conversation with someone.

4. Don’t eat everything on your plate; instead, throw the last bit away or feed it to the dog!

5. Wash your mouth out with Listerine for 15 seconds.

6. Eat a handful of beans before eating what you want to eat.

7. Do “mindful listening” at your desk for 1 minute, where you close your eyes and listen attentively to all the sounds you can hear.

8. Be”mindful” while eating something.

9. Express your appreciation, admiration or affection to someone.

10. Say something empathic to yourself when you catch yourself feeling upset about something.

11. Savor every bite of something you eat.

12. Do some neck stretches for a minute.

13. Wash hands for an extra-long time.

14. Check posture while walking or sitting.

Just think up 10 simple things like that–things that are easy to do and good habits to get into, once you do them enough to break the ice with them, or as  Edward de Bono says, “getting over the edge”.

How can I improve?

Answer: Engage a coach to take you through the four stages of mastery.

Atul Gawande explains how in this 3-minute video: Do Surgeons Need Coaches?

Atul Gawande: Coaching and the Four Stages of Mastery from The New Yorker on FORA.tv

How can I successfully change my behavior?

Answer: Avoid these 10 proven mistakes:



I can think of some more possible mistakes:

1. not writing down our goal, detailing all the nitty-gritty how and when and with whom and where and what, etc.

2. Not mentally rehearsing the desired behavior, especially for avoidance behaviors.

3. Not setting mini-goal targets (e.g. do it once, three times, 10 times, 30 times, etc.)

4. Not using a checklist to check whether we’ve remembered to do it.