How can I be a better conversationalist?

Answer:  Try to make everyone you speak to feel personally addressed.

In his Vanity Fair essay, Unspoken Truths, Christopher Hitchens wrote:

To my writing classes I used later to open by saying that anybody who could talk could also write. Having cheered them up with this easy-to-grasp ladder, I then replaced it with a huge and loathsome snake: “How many people in this class, would you say, can talk? I mean really talk?” That had its duly woeful effect. . .

The most satisfying compliment a reader can pay is to tell me that he or she feels personally addressed. Think of your own favorite authors and see if that isn’t precisely one of the things that engage you, often at first without your noticing it. A good conversation is the only human equivalent: the realizing that decent points are being made and understood, that irony is in play, and elaboration, and that a dull or obvious remark would be almost physically hurtful.

Interesting.  Hitchens was a brilliant speaker and writer. I wonder if anywhere in his writings he left instructions on how we could become better conversationalists?

Here;s a short video where he gives advice to would-be writers (and conversationalists):

Can I watch an conversation in action to study good and bad conversational skills?

Answer: Watch this fascinating 2-hour conservation among four very clever minds–as long as you don’t mind having your religious beliefs challenged!

Sam Harris is my favorite conversationalist of the four. He’s so respectful and articulate and gentle that he naturally commands respect–in my opinion. He also asks excellent questions of the group, which adds value to the discussion. Christopher Hitchens has many excellent ideas, but his conversational skills aren’t perfect. Often he talks too long and talks over people and interrupts. Richard Dawkins talks very passionately–I find myself listening to him very easily. Dan Dennett is very interesting, but he’s not a naturally passionate speaker in this discussion.

Generally, the four guys were excellent taking turns and listening respectfully to each other. See what you think. The first hour is quite polite; the discussion gets quite spirited in the second hour, with lots of interesting dynamics happening.

Another good foursome displaying excellent conversational skills:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoCFTddNedk